Pull Me Back
by katesanders422
Summary: "You're one of the reasons I'm up here," I whispered, closing my eyes. "Because you can't love me back."


**Disclaimer: J. owns all the characters and stuff**

I looked out at the white, snow covered grounds that surrounded the castle. The Black Lake was frozen over and all the trees were bare and brittle, desperately wishing for spring. A harsh December wind blew through the empty windows of the Owlery and I shivered. I was only wearing green pyjama pants and black socks which, in hindsight, wasn't the best idea for the winter. But it didn't matter.

I stepped closer to one of the wide windows determinedly, my feet gliding noiselessly over the stone floor. Without hesitating I stepped up onto the ledge and looked down at the ground over 100 feet below.

I'm going to kill myself.

I brushed my dark hair out of my eyes and gazed up at the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly as if they were winking at me and I smiled. It reminded me of the night where Scorpius and I had snuck out of the Slytherin dormitory and spent the night in the Astronomy Tower, watching the stars. I was happy when I was with Scorpius. Everything felt easy and simple and I could just be myself. But when I wasn't with him all of the dark things in my life rushed back fiercely, angry that they had been forgotten.

The thing is Scorpius isn't just a temporary solution; he's also part of the problem. I've known Scorpius now for 6 years and for 6 years he's been my best friend. And he hasn't done anything wrong and yet I'm standing here, on my breaking point, because of him.

Because he doesn't love me back.

Scorpius brings girl after girl to the dormitory and makes out with them even if I'm in the room. If I wasn't gay it probably wouldn't bother me that much but... I am. And it hurts me to see him with someone else. Everyone has that one person who they pine for but they never get. But I _can't _get Scorpius because, unlike me, he's not gay. I'm in love with someone who can never love me back.

I reached out and placed both hands on either side of the window and leaned out. I looked down at the ground and the cold, hard snow seemed somehow inviting.

A small noise that came from behind and broke the silence and there was a sharp intake in breath.

"Al, what the _hell _are you doing!" someone yelled from behind me. I leaned back in the Owlery but didn't answer or turn around. Someone rushed forwards and stopped a few feet behind me.

"Albus!" Scorpius yelled again. I let my hands drop from the sides of the window but I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"What are you doing here," I asked quietly, clasping and unclasping my hands in front of me.

"I heard you leave the Dormitory and I followed you!" he cried. "Why the _fuck _are you standing on the ledge!" I brushed a little snow that had begun to fall from my hair and I shuddered.

"I'm going to kill myself," I said steadily, looking down at the ground once more. Scorpius's breathing stopped and he choked out a dry sob.

"Why," he murmured, his voice breaking. "Think about what that would do to your family... to me!" My expression didn't change but tears started pouring down my face.

"You're one of the reasons I'm up here," I whispered, closing my eyes. "Because you can't love me back." My voice shook on the last word and I brought my hand up to my face and sobbed noiselessly.

The snow got heavier and soon my hair was damp and frosty and my skin was ice white with cold. There was a sudden rush of movement from behind me and before I could react, long, strong arms were wrapped around my bare chest. They threw me backwards until I was lying on the flat of my back with someone's lithe body pinning me down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Scorpius choked out, his face inches from mine. His eyes were wild with fear and tears were streaming down his cheeks. I didn't answer. I just gazed into his deep grey eyes, sad that I wouldn't ever see them again.

Suddenly Scorpius leaned forward and crushed his lips to mine. I was shocked. I couldn't respond to his kiss; I just lay there beneath him as he kissed me more passionately than I'd ever seen him do to a girl.

He finally leaned back and his face broke into a sad smile. He put a gentle hand on the side of my face and brushed back my bangs.

"I have been in love with you for 6 _fucking_ years," he murmured, "and this is _not _how I wanted us to get together."

I blinked up at him blankly as his words sunk in. _In love with you. _I grabbed the front of his sweater and brought his lips back to mine once more. He responded eagerly and we lay there for god knows how long on the cold Owlery floor. Finally Scorpius broke the kiss and stood up.

"You must be freezing," he commented in a very boyfriend-ish way. He lowered a hand and helped me to my feet. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist instead, pulling me close. I shivered as he walked me over to the door and he held me tighter.

We walked down the stairs in silence and I laid my head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and then I knew that things were going to be better.

"You're never going to leave me, you understand?" he said softly yet commandingly as we walked through the empty halls back towards the Slytherin common room.

"I know," I whispered, burying my face into his sweater. "I promise." He stopped walking and stepped in front of me. He cupped his hand under my chin and lifted it upwards.

"I love you, Albus," he said simply, grabbing my hand with his free one. "And I'm sorry; I should have told you sooner." I smiled and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.

"I love you, Scorpius." I kissed him again and he held me securely in his arms for what felt like forever.


End file.
